


Insomnia

by bitchy_broken



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:17:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5314586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchy_broken/pseuds/bitchy_broken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rae cannot sleep and the gang offer some solutions</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insomnia

“Hey Chloe? What’s up wi’ yer mate?” Finn enquired, acting casual by arranging his fringe and adjusting his leather jacket. Chloe didn’t even need to ask the question why, her eyebrows raised so high in confusion they nearly became part of her hairline. Finn huffed, “It’s not like I’m bothered or anythin’, you know? She just looks anxious and that?” Finn felt nervous as he motioned over to the bar where Rae stood fetching another round. Chloe was still staring at him mouth agape like he had just landed on earth from another planet.

“Since when do you care what’s wrong wi’ Rae?” Chloe looked intently at Finn.

"What d'ya mean?” Finn enquired feeling extremely puzzled. “Why wouldn’t I care?” He scrunched his brow in question. He cares about all their mates. Chloe was insinuating he had a problem with the raven haired beauty and couldn’t be further from the truth. He caught a couple of pricks picking on her outside the chippy the other day and gave them a slap because he cared so much about her. He felt slightly hurt by Chloe’s accusations.

“Well”, Chloe pulled a face of discomfort, obviously not wanting to deliver her opinion on the matter. “Well, you act like a dick to her. Shrugging at her questions and being generally rude to her.” she said at lightening speed. Like the quicker she said it, the less offended he would be. She let out a big breath when she finished speaking, her eyes were wide like a deer caught in a car’s headlights.

Finn bowed his head in shame biting down on his lower lip. He was disappointed in himself. He hadn’t meant to be rude to Rae, hadn’t realised he’d been acting like a twat. Her loud opinionated demeanour had disconcerted him on first meeting. She was obviously smart, confident and funny. He was none of those things and would be thoroughly out of his depth trying his luck with her. He hoped his usual Mr Cool tactic of ‘distant and aloof’ would work; would make him seem interesting. But it was clear that it had not. Why not? It always worked. Hot chicks always fell at his feet. But the one he liked the most thought he hated her. He was going to have to apologise.

"I, I, didn’t mean to be rude.” Finn stammered. "Is she upset wi me? Should I go and apologise?”

Chloe still looked confused by him and replied that Rae wasn’t feeling herself, so it wasn’t the right time for it; she would probably think he was on a wind up. But she did suggest that he could just try being friendlier in future. He agreed with a nod and ducked his head down to prepare a rollie when Rae returned to their table with a tray of pint, slopping Snakebites over everyone.

“Careful with them pints baby girl, you’ve lost nearly a quid’s worth of booze there!” Chop sniggered as he took the tray from Rae.

“Sorry everyone, I’m just so clumsy and distracted at the moment.” Rae flopped into her chair letting out an exasperated sigh.

Izzy moved her chair closer to Rae’s so she was near enough to place her arm around her shoulder. “You still not sleeping?” She cooed as she rubbed her hand on Rae’s back.

Rae shook her head and Chloe took the seat next to her. “What’s bothering yer babe? Something must be on yer mind.” Chloe joined the girls embrace “I’ve heard that vodka is good for insomnia”.

Finn didn’t mean to say anything but couldn’t help himself. He let out a loud scoff at Chloe’s crap advice causing everyone to look over to him.

“It’s true!” Chloe exclaimed. “I read it in Just Seventeen.”

“Yer what? A magazine is recommending that teenagers havin’ trouble sleeping should get wasted? That don’t seem right.” Finn chuckled with mirth at the absurd suggestion.

"Getting pissed doesn’t work anyway!” Rae added. “I’ve tried that.” She said looking thoroughly defeated.

“But was it vodka?” Chloe chuckled wiggling her eyebrows.

Rae laughed in response saying she could at least try, so Finn took the opportunity to build some bridges by offering to get in a round of double vodka’s for them all. They all cheered and Rae nodded her thanks to him. Finn was pleased that he could do something to help, she really did look stressed.

When Finn returned with the spirits Izzy was trying to persuade Rae to go swimming, as swimming always made her sleep like a baby. Rae joked that she didn’t want to wake up screaming every 3 or 4 hours like a baby would. But she did agree it was a good idea and Chloe said the girls could use her pool.

Finn was disappointed that the lads hadn’t been invited to join them. He had been swimming with Rae before and enjoyed the view exceedingly. He would have liked to frolic with her in the pool like she had with Archie. Just the thought of her in a cosi sent a bolt of excitement down to his trouser area. As he readjusted his seating position to keep his dignity he could hear Chop sniggering.

“Swimming is a good idea, but you know the very best cure for insomnia? It’s orgasms!“ Chop beamed, clearly elated at the chance to turn the conversation to his favourite topic.

Rae rolled her eyes and groaned. "I might have known you would say that.” She briefly looked at Finn which made him smile. She ducked her head and shrugged her shoulders informing the gang that she was going to take the vodka route on this occasion and they all laughed as she downed the double shot.

Finn jumped into action collecting her another double. She gave him a beautiful smile when he plonked the drink down in front of her. It made him feel warm inside and gave him the courage to take a seat next to her. She shoulder nudged him saying thanks again and he couldn’t believe what he did then. He was so pleased by her friendliness he let out a high pitched giggle similar to the sound his 8 year old cousin Lily would make.

She belly laughed in response to him and that made him happier than the day he received his Knebworth ticket. This gave him the confidence to make some more conversation with her and they spent almost the remainder of the night in deep discussion about Indie and Brit Pop. He really enjoyed himself and suspected she had too. Occasionally when he looked at her he noticed she was already looking at him, this gave him hope that she might actually like him too. 

The drinks were flowing all evening and when everyone was plastered Finn decided to suggest that the lads be included in the swimming plans for the next day. He hoped their merriment would sway their decision and it worked like a dream; he managed to procure them an invite and everyone left for home cheering with excitement. Finn offered to walk Rae home but she was already having a sleepover at Izzy’s with the girls. As he made his way home he recalled the shy, coy smile she gave him when they parted company and had to go straight to the bathroom for a cold shower when he arrived at his house.

+++++

The next morning Finn woke with an excruciating headache. He was relieved that the swimming session wasn’t until the afternoon so he could prepare for the occasion. He started with a full English breakfast and two strong cups of tea. Feeling revived he tried on all of his trunks to see which suited his physique best, he wanted Rae to be impressed with his appearance. The pair he settled on were quite light in colour and well fitted so he decided he should take some action to prevent possible embarrassment later and headed to the shower with thoughts of Rae in her one piece on his mind. He emerged half an hour later feeling sated and refreshed. He wanted to impress her so much he even dug out his expensive Dior aftershave from the back of his drawer. He doused himself in Fahrenheit hoping she’d be so aroused by its citrus scent she’d want to bite into him like a juicy orange. With hope in his heart he headed to Chop’s house to catch a lift.

When they arrived at the Gemmell household Chloe came to the door dripping wet and pushing her chest out. She informed them they were already in the pool; Rae still hadn’t slept the following night so they started swimming early to see if it would help. Finn whipped his jeans and t-shirt off and swam straight over to Rae who was swimming lengths. He swam along next to her challenging her to a race. She chuckled and raced off with Finn hot on her heels. Finn was much faster than Rae but he wanted her to win, he was going to enjoy her banter. He sped up a little and they both arrived at the end at the same time.

She turned to him with a cheeky smile. “I beat yer Nelson! Is there a prize?”

“Maybe, what do you want?” Finn smirked as his eyes travelled over the visible parts of her body and paused on her amazing tits. Finn realised when Rae caught him staring he was going to have to rein himself in a bit; he was clearly flirting with her and she probably didn’t feel the same.

“I dunno maybe, you could go and fetch me a drink?” She grinned as he saluted and went off to be barman.

When he returned she was splashing in the water with Archie, and Finn felt a pain in his chest, disappointed that he no longer had her to himself, he passed her the drink and she thanked him and placed it on the side and went back to splashing Archie. He tried to join in but they didn’t retaliate, it was clear he was being a gooseberry so he swam off to the bar area and sat there for the rest of the afternoon. He wanted to leave straight away but didn’t want to look weird, he was waiting for his opportunity to just go home. Chloe kept trying to drape herself over him and watching his best mate frolic with the girl of his dreams was making him angry. He had to leave before he punched something. He pretended that he was still hungover and needed to go home for some rest.

“You can’t go yet, we haven’t had a rematch.” Rae squeaked making Finn feel that she might have wanted him to stay. His stomach lurched with joy at the idea but he was too het up from the jealous thoughts from before.

“I think we already know you’re the fasted swimmer May. Anyways see you’s later, I hope you get some sleep tonight.” He smiled sadly feeling downhearted with himself.

+++++

Rae watched Finn leave, feeling guilty that his hangover had been so bad he had to go home. He ended up in that state trying to help her. All of her friends had gone out of their way to assist her in her plight. But nothing seemed to be helping. She also felt sad that he left as she had been hoping to reconvene her banter with Finn after he collected the drinks. But he looked so sexy in his tight fitting trunks she wasn’t safe being alone with him. She was close to committing a sex crime on him. She was well aware that the last thing Finn would want was to have a blob like her ogling his perfect body; he’d only just deemed her acceptable to talk to, so groping would definitely not be sanctioned.

Archie noticed her drop in spirits when Finn left and assumed it was because of her insomnia. "D'ya want me to drop you home so you can and try and get some rest?“ He smiled lifting his eyebrows in question.

"Yeah, that would be good.” Rae replied feeling happy to have such good friends.

After they dressed themselves Archie drove Rae home informing her that reading was also a great way to summon the sandman. He offered her one of history text books as some light reading, but she assured him she had plenty of books to try. Mrs Dewhurst had asked her to take some of her old novels to the charity shop, so she could try a good old romance if the exhaustion from the swimming didn’t make her pass out.

After the initial 30 winks she woke the same as she did every night. Thoughts spiralling through her mind. Questioning every little thing she had ever said to anybody and worrying that everyone would know that she was weird. And Finn he must have realised she fancied him and that’s why he ran off. No bloke that fit would want her affections; he must have been so embarrassed. 

Rae jerked up right in her bed switching the lamp on. She wiped the tears from her eyes and took large breaths. She needed to stop overthinking everything; she needed to employ the techniques her Therapist Kester had taught her. It shouldn’t matter what anybody else thought about her; If they don’t like her they can fuck off!

After her breath settled, she was wide awake. Remembering what Archie had suggested she pulled out the bag of books that were bound for the charity shop to see if any took her fancy. She spotted the book about Ceaser’s wife that she had read a couple of weeks back, before all the sleeplessness started. That book had been a tad smutty and had sent her imagination soaring. She read that book the very same day that Finn had punched the Green Lane twats which left her feeling rather aroused. That night she had participated in amorous congress with her finger for the first time ever and was thoroughly satisfied. But it was around that time that the night time worrying started.

She found a good Katie Fford and spent the rest of the night reading it. She just managed to drift off as her mum and Karim’s alarm went off waking up the whole household. She lay in bed all morning hoping that slumber would take hold again. She eventually got out of bed when Chloe telephoned inviting her to meet at the chippy for lunch.

Rae threw on any old clothes too exhausted to care what she looked like. She trudged to the Golden Plaice and lurched over to the gang flopping down in the nearest available chair - which happened to be next to Finn.

He smiled at her, which melted her bad mood a little, perhaps he wasn’t disgusted by her. She smiled back and unconsciously sighed loudly.

“The swimming didn’t work then?” Izzy questioned looking disappointed.

"Nah, I don’t know what’s wrong wi’ me. I read a whole novel and all, but still nothing.” Rae sighed again and the gang all coed their apologies.

Rae sat daydreaming when she felt a tap on her thigh. "Erm, Rae? Yer know I do sports science at college and that?“ Rae nodded with a smile. "Well we’ve had classes on massage as part of physio therapy and that.” Finn blurted. “Well it can help relax you and I got top marks, so maybe I could give you a massage? It could help yer sleep?”

Rae felt her brows rise. She was stunted by Finns suggestion. Yep it could help her relax, but he was clearly the sexiest bloke in the county. She could very well cause a gushing flood all over him if she let him do something so intimate to her. Rae went into overthinking frenzy of self doubt considering what he would think touching all of her fat.

A few minutes passed and she still hadn’t answered him. She heard her name again and snapped out of her thoughts to see him looking expectantly at her. She panicked and replied "Erm, I s'pose it wouldn’t hurt.” She heard herself saying. What was she thinking? She was going humiliate herself she was sure of it.

After they finished their chips they headed to the pub for a few drinks to settle Rae’s nerves then Finn gave Rae a lift home to collect anything she might need for the massage. She ran to her room and chucked her swimming costume, a large bath sheet and her care bear nightie into her denim bag. She wasn’t really sure what she would need, but Finn suggested she sleep over at his house so she could sleep straight away if the massage happened to work.

The journey back to Finn’s house had been a quiet one. They occasionally giggled at one another or mentioned the music on crap fm that Finn’s dads car was tuned into. But Rae sensed that Finn was nervous too and they made her feel more at ease. He was being so kind to offer to help her.

Finn sent her to the bathroom to change into whatever she was comfortable in while he warmed the oils and laid out a large towel on his bed.

She hesitantly popped her head round the door saying she was ready. She decided to wear her swimming cosi and a large towel. He told her he was going to use lavender oil on her body as lavender scent aided sleep. She was impressed he knew so much about it and lay face down on his bed as instructed. 

As soon as she lay down Finn straddled her saying it was the best position to give her an even massage. She squeaked it was ok and just prayed to the Lord that she would not embarrass herself by climaxing just from his touch. 

She felt the warm oil pool on her back and then Finn’s strong hands rub both of her shoulders. Rae’s body started to tingle as he manipulated the muscles along the top of her back and shoulders. It felt like a weight was lifting as all of the stress left those muscles. More oil was added to her right shoulder as the soft rubbing started down her right arm. Rae started to really relax and that’s when she noticed they were listening to some new age trancy dance music that she would never have picked in a million years. She felt too satisfied and sleepy to ask what it was as a new wave of pleasure rushed through her as Finn started on her left arm. He ran his hands from the top of her shoulder the whole way down until he reached her hand. He then rubbed in circles on her palm and down each finger to the very tip. Rae thought she heard herself groan in pleasure but was too relaxed to care. Finn’s touch made the journey back up her arm then he started to work the muscles on her back pushing her towel down to her waist. She felt so warm and satisfied at the tingling of her body coupled with the heady aroma of the oils and the trancy music that kept mentioning how beautiful the fluffy clouds were. Finn’s hands moved down to the back of her thighs and the warm tingling continued. She thought she could hear his breathing become uneven but her eye lids became too heavy for her pay any attention; she was a goner.

The next thing Rae new she was laying on Finn’s bed with him next to her. She felt relaxed and happy. Rae glanced over to him sleeping and could smell the lovely orangey scent of him on his bed sheets and imagined just how juicy his lips would taste if she ever had the chance to nibble on them. She must have slept for a while so she checked the clock which showed she had been a sleep for at least 3 hours. She lay back down not wanting to wake Finn who was asleep in just his boxers. She enjoyed the view exceedingly; she let her eyes travel all over his toned body and watched how his chest and stomach moved on the rise and fall of his breath. She moved closer to him taking large breaths of his scrummy scent.

She was so caught up imagining what it would feel like to have his firm body pressed into hers that it was a surprise when she realised he was awake. She jumped when she noticed his eyes were open and he was asking her what she thinking about. Not wanting to admit that she was perving on him she said she was thinking about how she was going to tell him about his BO.

He smirked, in what seemed a rather flirty way replying. “So if you don’t like me BO, you wouldn’t like this?” and proceeded to place his bare, slightly moist armpit directly onto her face.

She was both horrified and delighted at the development. “Not as much as I like this!” She laughed as she mounted a tickle attack on the same arm pit

They wrestled and tickled for a short while until Finn suddenly sprang from the bed saying he needed to freshen up. Rae laughed that he should smelling like he did, but in all honesty she was distraught. While he showered Rae became even more overwrought thinking he was disgusted by her flirting; she cannot see any other reason that he would run off like that. It hurt so bad that she felt a pang in her chest that sent a painful twinge straight to the palm of her hands. He must have been so embarrassed to have her touching him, she had to get away; she had to get home to the safety of her room before she could let the tears fall. Rae grabbed her clothes and ventured out into the dark in only her pyjama’s feeling broken hearted and ashamed.

Rae didn’t leave her room for the following few days. She wouldn’t answer the phone and even refused to get out of bed. In the end it took Chloe, Izzy and Rae’s mum to make her move. They persuaded her to go out with the girls after they and promised not to meet the lads.

They spent the afternoon shopping which Rae wouldn’t usually be up for, but on this occasion she was happy to do anything that she knew for sure wouldn’t involve Finn. Rae thought she’d made it through the day without being quizzed on the massage night, but Chloe sprung the questions on her on the walk home.

“What did Finn do Rae?” Chloe was almost begging. "If he’s done summit to yer, I’ll have his balls!”

“He didn’t do owt. It’s my fault I just feel embarrassed by falling asleep on his bed and that. I’m just so tired all the time I don’t feel well.”

"Are you sure that’s all? Yer mum said he’s been ringing constantly. And he’s been looking really grumpy. Well more grumpy than usual.” Chloe’s laughed at her own joke. "How about you come to the pub later so everyone can see you’re alright?”

“I s'pose”, she responded. She didn’t want to face him again. She didn’t want to see that disgust in his eyes again. Her skin felt itchy just thinking about it, but she had to face him at some point and agreed to meet them at the pub at 7:00 pm.

She went indoors to change into something that didn’t make her look quite so awful. She found a sparkly top at the back of her wardrobe and paired it with the usual black leggings and denim skirt. She decided to knock for Izzy to her help with her hair and makeup as she really need some battle armour for the oncoming night.

+++++

Three days it had been since Rae ran off into the moonlight. Finn couldn’t fathom what made her run off like she did. He suspected she might have felt his boner sticking into her when they frolicked. She must have been appalled by him.

He couldn’t help it. Massaging Rae had been one of the most pleasurable experiences of his life. It had taken all his perseverance to keep his hands in the appropriate places. He wanted to explore the entirety of her body and was overjoyed by the satisfied whimpers that escaped her lips. Then when he woke and her eyes were exploring his body it gave him a thrill of excitement that he had never felt before. Frolicking with her after that was too much for a horny boy to take.

He really thought they had a connection and he just wanted to speak to her, to explain, to apologise. But she had been refusing to come to the phone. She must really hate him

But he heard that she had been persuaded out of her sick bed to go to the pub. He decided to knock for her and offer her a lift. He was disappointed to learn that she had already left.

When he entered the pub, the gang were drinking in a booth. Chop called over to him in greeting and they all smiled and waved. All except Rae. She didn’t even look up. Initially he felt sad and contemplated leaving, but then he became angry, what had he actually done to deserve that treatment. He bowled over to them all and asked if they wanted a drink looking directly at Rae. She squeaked her thanks but Archie insisted it was his round and told Finn to take a seat.

“Hey Finn lad, come and talk to us. These gals are on about boring sleep stuff AGAIN”. He yawned and smiled at Finn tapping the seat next to him.

“I’m sure Rae would prefer to be getting some sleep Chop.” Finn smiled at Rae and was relieved to see her smile back.

“Yeah, but I’ve already told you all the best cure for Insomnia is orgasms. And Rae’s followed all of you’s guys advice. Maybe it’s time to try a new tactic?” Chop joked with a face splitting grin.

Rae just groaned and let her head fall onto Chloe’ shoulder.

At that point Chloe started to whisper and Finn had to strain his ears and move his body forward to hear what they were saying.

“He’s got a point though Rae, whenever I can’t get to sleep I always have a bit of…. You know?” Chloe pursed her lips and lifted her eyebrows.

“What Chlo?” Izzy blurted out before Rae could say anything.

“Yer know, I might play me old banjo.” She whispered.

Both Izzy and Rae were gawping at her, obviously not familiar with open discussion about masturbation.

Finn couldn’t stop looking over to them, their conversation was fascinating. He coughed and leaned forward a little more to try to hear more clearly. They were deep in whispered conversation.

Chloe was directly talking at Rae, “Are you telling me you’ve never taken care of business?”

Rae replied that she had done it once recently and looked at Finn when she replied. He felt a tingle of excitement through his body when he caught her looking at him. Maybe she looked at him because she was thinking about him at the time? But it looked like Rae had the opposite feeling when she noticed he’d seen. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes were wide. She stood up looking as though she was about to cry. She told everyone that she needed the loo, but she took her coat and bag with her. Finn kept a close eye on where she went worried that she was going to flee from the pub. Five minutes later he saw her emerge from the loo’s and head straight for the door.

She wasn’t getting away this time. He needed to know what her problem was and charged out of the door after her.

"RAE, RAE, STOP. What’s going on? Why do you keep mugging me off? I thought we were getting on?” Finn’s shouts trailed into a whisper. "Why don’t you like me?“

Rae looked gob smacked. "It’s not me with the problem!” she shouted. It were you that were so disgusted by this”, she motioned down her body, “that you had to get away from me!” 

Finn stood open mouthed not sure what she was referring to. "What? When?“ He pleaded.

"At yours. When we were mucking about you ran off with embarrassment.” A single tear rolled down her cheek as she looked down with shame. "I don’t blame yer tho’, I am an embarrassment, that’s why you didn’t like me when we first met and that’s why you don’t like us now.“ Rae looked devastated as she bent over talking shallow breaths.

"Are you joking? Finn was shouting at this point. "I had to go and take a cold shower before I attempted Chop’s solution to your sleep problems. Before you noticed me permanent pan handle was sticking into your side.” Finn ran his hand over his forehead and down his face in exasperation. He’d never met anybody with such a low opinion of them selves before. He thought she was perfect and was surprised that she didn’t have the slightest clue he felt the way he did.

“Yer wha? I don’t believe yer.” You’re always running off when I’m around. You’ve never liked me! Always shrugging at me when we first met. You even scarpered from Chloe’s pool when we’d been getting on. She looked angry and her face was red and scrunched.

I left Chloe’s because I was in a jealous rage that you were giving Archie your attention. I were convinced you knew how I felt about yer and that was your way of saying you weren’t into me.“ Finn felt embarrassed by his own confession. "And the rest of the time I’m always on boner alert. You don’t know how many cold showers and hand shandy’s I’ve had this past few weeks.”

Rae gave him a bashful smile, "really?”

“REALLY.” Finn nodded and took a step closer to her encasing her in his arms. "I’m no good with speaking, I’m no good at expressing how I feel when it really matters.“ He whispered into her ear.

"Me too. I spend loads of time talking shite but when it really matters I don’t have the confidence to share me true feelings. Don’t like feeling vulnerable; that’s why I ran when it was clear that I’d been thinking of you when I…..Yer know? She didn’t want to admit out loud that she had masturbated thinking about him, but he didn’t let her off. Just stood in silence waiting for her to finish the sentence. "Alright then, it was bloody clear that I thought about you when I were attending me lady garden. She blurted looking him straight in the eye, still looking scared to admit her true feelings

"I think we both have self esteem issues”, he mumbled. “But we’re still perfect for each other; what you just said, that painful admission just sent me heart soaring. I want us to face this stuff together? I want you to be me girl” He said smiling as pulled her further into the clinch.

“Me too.” She agreed and placed her soft lips onto his.

That confident move surprised and excited him. He nibbled on her bottom lip seeking entrance for his tongue to explore her mouth. Time stood still as he finally made out with the girl of his dreams. 

Rae pulled out of the kiss admitting to him that the Insomnia had started the night she first travelled through the mystical orgasm gateway. She thought she might have been worried about him finding out and what his reaction would be. She said she was hopeful that she might be able to have a full nights rest now she was finally happy.

He suggested that he could attempt the massage again and she replied it was a deal as long as he was totally naked when he performed it.

They both chuckled and Finn grabbed her by the hand dragging her back to his place exclaiming it was the best deal he’d ever made.

The end


End file.
